Health & Fitness – Where I began, where I was, where I am now

anxiety, blogger, family, fit, fitness, health, life, love, motherhood, mum, mumblog, parenting, wellbeing

As a teen, I liked to believe I was fit, but I really wasn’t. I mean, I wasn’t unfit, but I didn’t do a lot to actually keep fit and healthy. I played sport throughout the years and thats about as far as my fitness regime got. 

In year 12, my friends and I went on a get fit and slim for graduation program (self made), in which we kept each other motivated because who didn’t want to look their best in a gorgeous ball gown with your hair and make up done. But once we finished school I didn’t continue with it. I went travelling and all that went out the window. All I wanted to do was party and experience the world for the next few years of my early adult life. And why damn not, really!! I did the odd workout or run here and there but never had any consistancy. Not until I settled after 5ish years of partying and travelling, which I might add, do not regret. 

I can’t remember what inspired me to change my lifestyle around a bit and want to get fit and healthy. Maybe a lady I worked with who was studying to be a PT at the time? Anyway, I joined the gym – Fitness First. I couldn’t afford a trainer but felt as if I REALLY needed one to get me started and keep me on track initially. So I decided to juggle a few things around financially and sacrafire my shopping habit (slightly) and got myself a PT! Woohoo, I was on the road to becoming a healthy version of myself. And it was all worth it. 

I thrived on going to the gym and working out. The weights, the circuits, my trainer. I had an instant love for it (not as in IN LOVE with my trainer, ha ha). My goals at the time were to feel/get fitter and gain some strength. And that I did over time.

(Imaged sourced from Pintrest)

I’d never done any long distance running either but found myself signed up to the City2Surf later that year. I trained for that, so began to incorporate some distance running into my fitness program. My goal for that was to finish the run without having to walk any of it – and that I did. I remember being so pround of myself (probs sounds a little silly), I rang my mum, told all my fam and friends that I did it. I ran 12ish kilometers without stopping for the first time in my life! I then wanted to do a half marathon – I’m still working on that one. 

I was still loving the gym. I trained with my trainer twice a week and did my own sessions or group classes 4 to 5 times per week. So some weeks I’d train 7 days! I couldn’t get enough of it. It made me feel so good, inside and out. 

I didn’t have a lot of good friends in the big city of Sydney where I was living at the time so this was my focus. I was rarely out on a Friday/Saturday which didn’t bother me much as I couldn’t afford the big nights out anyway, and I hated wasting the next day nursing those dreaded hangovers. 
I then decided to do a 100km walk, as a run. I trained for about 3-4 months. I trained hard and I trained a lot. Some days I’d train twice a day for a couple hours each session. I didn’t allow my body the rest it needed. I had the mindset that if I didn’t train hard I wouldn’t be able to complete the distance. 

The day arrived and the conditions were horrendous. It had rained in the week leading up to the day so the track was wet, muddy, slosh and rivers were flowing. I quit (not that easily), but after about 70 tough kilometers my knees had had it. I couldn’t walk – let alone run – down hill.
I decided to take some time off training. I was emotionally, mentally and what felt physically wrecked. I lost the passion and drive I had for being fit and healthy after going – what I see now as – too hard. I didn’t give my body rest and recovery time (which is probably why I didn’t finish walk/run) that it needed. 

I really struggled to get that passion back. I knew I wanted to be fit and healthy and exercise regularly but I just dreaded what I went through. I didn’t have any goals, and I sure as hell wasn’t setting any after the crazy 100km one that I had. The thought of that makes me anxious.

I was back to where I started. I did the odd workout here and there but I wasn’t consistant. I fell pregnant, and I was probably lucky in a way that I had been so fit and healthy for a few years that I coped well with my pregnancy. After Donté was born I took up netball (again) and I thought that may have been the motivation I needed to get back into living a fit and healthy lifestyle. I was to a small degree. I loved playing and training. It made me feel good. I attempted to run and do some weight training in addition to just playing netball and although I did this for a few weeks, I didn’t keep up with it. I was just not consistant.  I put this down to ‘Unfinished Business‘ (if you’ve read my last blog you’ll know what I’m talking about here). 

Now I’ve overcome that, thanks to the Instafitmum community, I have the motivation and consistancy in my training. 
I feel so good again now I’m back training, in the same way I felt when I first started training at the gym about 5ish years ago.

I am doing this for my family – that is my purpose. I don’t train as hard as I used to but I am consistant. And when I train I give it my all, and that is what is important to me. I’d only be cheating myself if I don’t push out the last few reps or if I skip a round, so I keep going right until the end!

Having a toddler keeps me on the go non-stop and I need to keep my energy levels up so I can keep up with him every day!
I’m no personal trainer, but if I can offer any advice it would be to listen to your body and rest. Your body needs time to recover for it to perform at its best. And this will avoid burnout (like what I experienced) so you will be more likely to keep up the consistancy in your training programs and keep at it for longer. Happy training!

Big hugs xx

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Unfinished business

anxiety, blogger, family, fit, fitness, health, life, love, motherhood, mum, mumblog, parenting, wellbeing

I love doing things, exercise, crafts, DIY’s, every day jobs. You name it and I’d be the one to put my hand up to do it. But one thing I can’t stand is starting something and not finishing it. Yes some things take time but when it’s something that you can just do fairly quickly I prefer to just do it and get it done, rather then do bits and pieces here and there and finish it ‘later’.

So I’m sure you’re all thinking ‘how the hell do you do things with a baby then?’. And that’s a damn good question or statement to make. 

I have had to shift that approach to everyday life with a baby in tow and it has certainly come with some frustration and difficulty. Simple tasks like doing the dishes, or hanging the washing out can so very easily be interrupted by your waking baby, or grizzly toddler pulling at your leg. 
When my son was first born, and for about the first 8-9 months of having him around I struggled to keep up with the everyday jobs you do around the house; washing, cleaning, vacuuming, mopping, cooking etc. I put it down to my obsession with not wanting to start something because I was afraid my son would wake from his nap, want me to play with him or just want me and I wouldn’t be able to finish what I was doing. Ridiculous right?! 

My partner was incredibly helpful around the home, more than he’ll ever know. He also never got up me that I hadn’t done something (maybe a couple times, but totally understandable, I mean he did go to work everyday and then came home to having to cook dinner and clean). My son was a cat napper in his younger months so maybe I can justify this all by that…?!  By about 9 months of age, he (finally, says mumma) started sleeping for longer periods of time (1 hour minimum) so I started to do the general duties of living in a home, and also managed to prepare and cook dinner for us all. It still feared me whilst doing these jobs that Donté would wake and I wouldn’t be able to finish it off. Of course this did happen on the odd occasion, and I felt frustrated within myself. I certainly didn’t take this out on Donté, but I couldn’t fully focus on what I was doing with him. 

Enjoying the horsey ride together

I am very much into keeping fit and being healthy, but fitting a workout in felt absolutely impossible. We will always get out for a walk each day (if not, every second day), but I have only very recently got back into properly working out with consistency and commitment. The inspiration I get from other #instafitmums who workout with their bubs around has helped with changing my perspective on this obsession I have. I now work out 5-6 times a week, sometimes during nap time, but mostly when Donté is up –  And he loves it! He rolls around on my mat, tries to pick up my weights, has so many giggles at me jumping around and he launches himself onto me so that he feels apart of it too. Yes he does stop me sometimes and wants me to do something with him, and that’s ok. I stop and do what he wants me to do, then I get back to it when he is done showing me. From the likes of some of my fav Insta accounts, 

@activewithd

@bubs2bikinis

@nadinemuller__

@bybrittanynoonan 

(just to name a few, as there are so many of you that I follow and aspire to) they have made me realise it isn’t about doing your workout all in one hit, and showing me that you can take a minute or two (or longer if needed) to play with our littlest ones in between. 

I have taken this approach to everyday life as well now. If I don’t get to finish the dishes it is not the end of the world, because giving my son my full attention when he wants it is my number one priority. And seeing him happy and having fun is so so important to me. As ‘they’ say, your children won’t remember if the house was clean and tidy or if it was a mess, but what they will remember is that their mother and father played with them and gave their full attention to them. And that’s how I want to be remembered. 

It is moments like these that are the best ones

Big hugs xx

The loss I was dealt and what changed my perspective on dealing with it

anxiety, blogger, family, fit, fitness, health, life, love, motherhood, mum, mumblog, parenting, wellbeing

4 of a kind (not so kind in my case)


From the first month of my life I was dealt the card of dealing with death. My father was suddenly killed in what was a tragic work accident on our family property. I was exactly one month old, to the day. I lost my grandmother when I was 23, then a best friend at 24 and my grandfather at 26. 

I never felt like I dealt with the loss of my father (firstly) until I was around 18/19 years of age. And by deal with, I mean grieve. Something hit me. I remember feeling extreme sadness and numbness for the first time in my life. It was like I had only just realised I didn’t have my father around, which I guess is fair enough to say since from when I was one month old I didn’t have him physically present in my life. I grieved in silence. I didn’t want people to know how I was feeling, and that there were days and nights that I just cried to myself. That was showing weakness that I didn’t want people to see. 

Years past by and I began to feel like I was drowning in sorrow. The loss of my grandmother was something else to try and cope with whilst already feeling miserable. When I lost my best friend I think that was breaking point. I felt as though I had hit rock bottom emotionally. I’d never felt so worthless ever. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I was tired all the time. I didn’t want to talk to any of my friends or family. Anyone who knows me well, would know that this was not like me at all. I was a fit, healthy, friendly, people person who appeared to want to live in every moment and do anything and everything. I hated being alone, and now all I wanted was to be alone.

I decided to give therapy a go. The first appointment was me telling her my life story, then the second appointment was discussing my feelings and what I could do to change them. I felt so uncomfortable with the lady. She kept asking me question I didn’t have answers to. We sat in silence for a good 5 minutes too when I couldn’t think of anything to say. Let’s just say that was the last time I saw her. I decided not too search for another one as I wasn’t financially in a position to keep trying in order to find someone I was comfortable with. 

Instead I gave in and spoke up. I spoke up to my partner and then to my mother. I’m sure I broke my mum’s heart telling her this but more so in the way that I hadn’t spoken to her sooner. 

To be honest it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It just felt good to speak my feelings and not get answers or asked questions back. I used that as my release, just speaking my feelings. I found that helped a lot at the time.

I was then blessed with falling pregnant with my beautiful son not long after my grandfather had passed. Once my little boy entered the world it was like he eliminated any form of worry, and stress I ever had. He was what mattered to me most now. 

I certainly have not forgotten about all the beautiful souls that are no longer with me, but from the birth of my son, he has taught me to look at them in positive and happy ways. Remembering the good times, rather than focusing on the loss of them. I think of them all daily, and defiantly wish they could still be here with me physically, but I also know that they are by my side everyday, which is what I treasure. 

I thank these stars for giving me the gift of my sweet little boy.

Since the birth of my baby (16 months on) I have not felt a moment of how I used to feel. My heart feels full again and I am the happiest I’ve ever been in life. I look at life differently now, with so much more positivity, love, happiness. I do my best to not take things for granted. And it’s all thanks to my sweet little boy for choosing me to be his mother. 

A positive thought to accepting the loss of a loved one

Some tips for anyone that may be feeling in a similar way, I would certainly suggest giving therapy a go. Although it didn’t work out for me, I have heard many many success stories from people that have attended therapy for various reason. But the one thing I hope you will do is SPEAK UP. Talk to someone. Whether it be family or friends (or me – I’m all ears open here), just talk to someone to express how you are feeling. For me it wasn’t about getting answers or wanting sympathy, I just needed to get it off my chest. You may be surprised at how good you feel after doing so. And keep active (harder to do than me just saying it), it will help keep your mind at rest and sends all those HAPPY endorphins racing through your body – and that is what we want. We all deserve happiness what ever situations we’ve been through.
Big hugs xx